THE BANKER'S FATE

They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
  They pursued it with forks and hope;
They threatened its life with a railway-share;
  They charmed it with smiles and soap.

And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
  It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
  In his zeal to discover the Snark

But while he was seeking with thimbles and care,
  A Bandersnatch swiftly drew nigh
And grabbed at the Banker, who shrieked in despair,
  For he knew it was useless to fly.

He offered large discount--he offered a check
  (Drawn "to bearer") for seven-pounds-ten:
But the Bandersnatch merely extended its neck
  And grabbed at the Banker again.

Without rest or pause--while those frumious jaws
  Went savagely snapping around-
He skipped and he hopped, and he floundered and flopped,
  Till fainting he fell to the ground.

In Port

Last, to the chamber where I lie
My fearful footsteps patter nigh,
And come out from the cold and gloom
Into my warm and cheerful room.

There, safe arrived, we turn about
To keep the coming shadows out,
And close the happy door at last
On all the perils that we past.

Then, when mamma goes by to bed,
She shall come in with tip-toe tread,
And see me lying warm and fast
And in the land of Nod at last.

Pirate Story

Three of us afloat in the meadow by the swing,
  Three of us abroad in the basket on the lea.
Winds are in the air, they are blowing in the spring,
  And waves are on the meadow like the waves there are at sea.

Where shall we adventure, to-day that we're afloat,
  Wary of the weather and steering by a star?
Shall it be to Africa, a-steering of the boat,
  To Providence, or Babylon or off to Malabar?

Hi! but here's a squadron a-rowing on the sea--
  Cattle on the meadow a-charging with a roar!
Quick, and we'll escape them, they're as mad as they can be,
  The wicket is the harbour and the garden is the shore.

FIGURES ABOUT MAGAZINE AD READERSHIP

Here are some interesting results of a study conducted on readerships of 
magazine ads. Most of the stats are from Starch INRA Hopper, Inc and other 
studies.
A two-page spread attracts about 25% more readership that a one-page ad. A 
half-page ad is about 2/3 as effective as a full page. A 2-page centerspread 
is more effective than a floating 2-page spread.
Readership interest does not drop off when an ad is rerun several times in 
the same magazine. 

A full-page full-color ad attracts about 40% more readers than a black & 
white full page advertisement.
Black & white ads are 20% more effective than ads printed with black and 
one other color. For example an ad with black and red ink will generate 20% 
less readership attention compared to a basic black & white ad.

Photographs are more effective than drawings. Photographs and illustrations 
of product in use are more effective than a still or static photo or 
illustration of the product.

FIGURES ABOUT MAGAZINE AD READERSHIP

Here are some interesting results of a study conducted on readerships of 
magazine ads. Most of the stats are from Starch INRA Hopper, Inc and other 
studies.
A two-page spread attracts about 25% more readership that a one-page ad. A 
half-page ad is about 2/3 as effective as a full page. A 2-page centerspread 
is more effective than a floating 2-page spread.
Readership interest does not drop off when an ad is rerun several times in 
the same magazine. 

A full-page full-color ad attracts about 40% more readers than a black & 
white full page advertisement.
Black & white ads are 20% more effective than ads printed with black and 
one other color. For example an ad with black and red ink will generate 20% 
less readership attention compared to a basic black & white ad.

Photographs are more effective than drawings. Photographs and illustrations 
of product in use are more effective than a still or static photo or 
illustration of the product.

The Man and His Two Wives

In the old days, when men were allowed to have many wives, a
middle-aged Man had one wife that was old and one that was young;
each loved him very much, and desired to see him like herself.
Now the Man's hair was turning grey, which the young Wife did not
like, as it made him look too old for her husband. So every night
she used to comb his hair and pick out the white ones. But the
elder Wife saw her husband growing grey with great pleasure, for
she did not like to be mistaken for his mother. So every morning
she used to arrange his hair and pick out as many of the black
ones as she could. The consequence was the Man soon found himself
entirely bald.

Yield to all and you will soon have nothing to yield.

The Wolf and the Kid

A Kid was perched up on the top of a house, and looking down
saw a Wolf passing under him. Immediately he began to revile and
attack his enemy. "Murderer and thief," he cried, "what do you
here near honest folks' houses? How dare you make an appearance
where your vile deeds are known?"

"Curse away, my young friend," said the Wolf.

"It is easy to be brave from a safe distance."

PRE-APPROVED CREDIT CARDS

Pre-approved cards are the result of one bank who now has you as a customer, 
and sells your name to another bank or a series of banks so they can offer 
you their credit cards. Here's how it usually works:

Many smaller banks want to be credit card issuers but, because of limited 
facilities for credit card processing, it is sometimes difficult for a 
smaller bank to cash in on the credit card boom. What's been developed is 
an interconnect system where large banks will process credit card 
applications and issue the credit cards for the little banks.

For example, let's say that Mini Savings & Loan wants to get in on the 
Plastic Pursuit. However, Mini does not have the facility or the staff to 
process credit card applications and issue credit cards. What Mini has to 
do is contract the service with Maxi Bank.

Since Maxi has several banks that they provide this service to, Mini Savings 
& Loan is just a welcome addition to their roster of client banks for whom 
they process and issue credit cards.

When you apply for a credit card at Mini Savings & Loan, your application 
is actually forwarded to Maxim Bank who runs a credit check and, granting 
you have good credit, issues you your choice of VISA or MasterCard with 
Mini Savings & Loan's name on it.

However, since Maxi is the issuing bank and since it has your credit on 
their file, they can very well send you an application for their own credit 
card. They can also sell your name to their other client-banks who can offer 
you their credit cards on a pre-approved basis.

Another source that sells your name is the credit bureau. Because they can 
program their computers to search for names of existing credit card holders 
with clean and healthy files, they can provide issuing banks with a premium 
mailing list of people to whom the banks can send pre-approved credit card 
applications.

Zip Code Phonebook

Yellow Pages, a California-based research company has been extensively 
doing studies on U.S. ZIP (Zone Improvement Program) Codes. They can now 
predict, with certain percentage of accuracy, what you ate for breakfast 
based on your zip code.

ZIP Codes are the smallest, most organized accumulation of information by 
which we can evaluate the demographic flavor of a given area.

From a marketing standpoint, most retail businesses use ZIP codes along with 
the Perretto Principle that 80% of your customers reside within the ZIP 
codes that connect to your collection. In theory, they live no more than 
7 miles from where you are.

A CHANGING MARKETPLACE 

The phonebook we have grown accustomed to was developed over 30 years ago.  
The only way it has grown in in terms of thickness, weight, and aesthetic 
design.

From a marketing perspective, except for its dominance and near monopoly, 
it has been rendered useless by a more mobile and more efficient market.

When the Yellow Pages were first introduced, the world of "malls", 
"strip malls", "executive centers", and "postal & mail box centers" were 
unknown to American consumers. Today, it is easier for us to dial directory 
assistance than to use the phonebook.

USE OLD PATTERNS 

To make it easy for advertisers and consumers to swallow something new, make 
it look like it's old. So, use simple patterns and designs borrowed from 
old phonebooks, including rates charged for your territory. Establish your 
advertising rates based on the number of homes and businesses your ZIP Code 
phonebook is going to.

You can have as many ZIP Codes covered, just make sure you do not pile up a 
marketplace too large you are practically competing with the phone company.  
The best rule of thumb is to break the phone companies general distribution 
area into 7 phonebooks.

GTE used to have what they called "The Neighborhood Phonebook". I think the 
reason it died is that it broke down its neighborhood either very 
conceptually or too similarly to the way all other phonebooks do.  
Advertisers want solid numbers. ZIP Codes are solid. Just ask the postal 
service. 

A USED BOOK STORE

Operating a used book store is a lot like Owning a recycling center - not too glamourous until you take a look at the owner's bank account.

 This is an ideal "absentee-Owner" type of business, or a small investment type business for someone to start while holding down a regular, full time job. The type of person "best-suited" to running a successful used book store, is the man or woman who
loves to read, has collected books over the years, and enjoys associating with people of similar interests.

 Start-up risks are rated high, with the average time period needed to become firmly established, about 3 years. After that "becoming established" stage however, you should be able to enjoy ownership of a business without extreme market fluctuations, plus an income close to 50,000 per year or more.

 Ideally, a used book store will need a market population of at least 50,000 per sons to support it. Try to locate your store in a "high traffic" area, as near as possible to a college or university campus. Something to bear in mind is the shopping habits of the average used book buyer: First, he's a browser. He notices your shop, drops in and begins looking around to see what kind of books you have available. If he spots some thing that really interests him, he'll probably buy then and there. If not, and provided you've made him feel comfortable this first time in your store, he'll be back - dropping in to browse whenever he's in the area.

 Shopping Malls are excellent locations for book stores. Locations near other, or "new" book stores are also very good -if the buyer doesn't find what he wants in the "other" book stores, he'll check your store. Grocery store shopping centers are generally poor locations for book stores of any kind.

 It's important that there be a lot of casual strollers in your location area, and that you encourage these people to drop in, and browse around.

 If you want the entire front of your store to be a show window, take pains to arrange your window display in an uncluttered manner, showing the kinds of books you have... However, a window display is not really necessary... more important is a window for the passers-by to see into your store. At any rate, if you do go with a window display, keep it low - never more than 36-inches high - leaving a lot of room for the people passing by to see into your store, and notice the people browsing through your books. We know of one successful operator who had members of his family, relatives and friends, purposely
"browsing" through his store, just to project that kind of image for the store.

BUSINESS FINANCING SERVICE

If you've been wanting to get into something that doesn't require all of your time, yet could give you an income of $100,000 per year or more, a Business Financing Service is definitely something you should consider. This is the kind of business that requires no special education or even a storefront office; won't take much of your time, yet offers more prestige, power and fast earning potential than just about any business opportunity available to the ordinary working person.

 The average net profit of people in this kind of business is $75,000 per year, before taxes. Most began on a part-time basis, operating out of their homes. Within a short period of time, varying with expenditure of time and effort, most have luxurious professional office suites with many clients from all over the country calling and asking for help. Perhaps best of all, this is a business you can operate with nothing more than a part-time secretary/bookkeeper, a telephone, and business cards.

 There are many facets of this kind of business, which involve bringing lenders and borrowers together for venture capital, operating capital, expansion capital, and of course, mortgages of all kinds. Concerning mortgages, look at it from this point of view: Almost every building in the country - homes, office buildings, factories, apartments - has a mortgage on it, and somebody is making some really big commissions bringing together the people wanting the money and the people wanting to lend the money.

 A business financing or money brokerage business is the ideal sideline business for real estate brokers, sales persons involved in business sales, investment brokers, attorneys, accountants, and retirees from almost any occupation. This is definitely one of the truly recession-proof businesses that actually seems to flourish in times of tight money.

YOUR POTENTIAL MARKET:

 Each year, more than 10 million business loan applications are filed with the banks in this country. It is not uncommon for these banks to be working on more than 250,000 business loans each week, in amounts ranging from $25,000 to well over a million dollars. About 65 percent of the loans actually granted by the banks are short-term commercial loans; only about 25 percent are for longer terms, with fewer than ten percent granted for
construction projects.

 It should then be obvious that the banks in this country are neither speedy nor generous in giving loans to the beginning or small business entrepreneur. Such business people usually ask for loans of longer duration than the banks are willing to grant. It is easy to see that in a beginning business, smaller installment payments will reduce pressure on the borrower, and allow him to put more of the profits back into the business. In most cases, these small business owners need much more than the banks are willing to allow without all kinds of guaranteed collateral. And that, of course, is the reason why people needing money for their business success turn to business financing consultants, which provides you the opportunity for success in this field.

 You'll find that beginning or small business persons are always on the lookout for professional business financing services. They always seem to need more money than they have available, and they never seem to get quite the help or satisfaction they seek from the banks. The pressing need for more capital is not something that plagues only the beginning or new business. It is an ongoing need in almost every growing business also. In fact, the need for a continuing input of new money is a necessary part of the growth cycle of every business. Generally, the "little guy"' just doesn't have the extra cash from last year; he does not have the money it takes to set up a stock market program; and he doesn't have the time to devote to (or he doesn't want to attempt to "sell" his friends) an investment program in his business.

 Sometimes these small business people will talk with their accountants, lawyers or stockbrokers and ask them to help in finding people with money to invest. Most accountants, lawyers and stockbrokers are in touch with clients who have money they are
willing to invest in growing businesses, or people with "sure-fire" money-making ideas.

 Whether these professional people do or do not have special clients with money to invest in special "deals" is of no consequence. The important thing is that these people are always being asked by someone if they know of a source of money, or if they know of someone who can locate an investor for them. With this in mind, and once you're set up in business, it will behoove you to contact these people - the accountants, lawyers, and stockbrokers in your area - to get to know as many of them as you can, and to leave your business card, so they will be aware of your services.